The "Practical Spirituality" Newspaper

Flower Essence Faux Pas #7 – Using Catharsis as a Marker for Growth

In Flower Essence Faux Pas on July 11, 2009 at 12:23 pm

I recently recieved some feedback from a woman who had been using Queens Tears, Billbergia nutans. Her feedback was that ‘the essence didn’t work… but… another essence worked well to clear her junk’, venting her bottled emotions and allowed her to ‘express her opinions rather strongly’ to those who had wronged her now and in the past. In other words, she exploded. And once the smoke had cleared, she felt better.

Queens Tears is for the gentle release of pent up emotions – those strong emotions you have suppressed or feelings that you have side-stepped in an attempt to remain composed. As I suggested to this lady, Queens Tears doesn’t produce a catharsis and it’s not meant to. It’s an ‘anti-catharsis’ flower. Queens Tears allows for a ‘slow release of tears’, one at a time, at a pace that is not overwhelming. The flower regulates the emotions and eases their release, bringing relief-without-further-upsetting-yourself-while-doing-so.

It’s natural to seek change to the negative aspects of your life. And so it would seem logical to ‘create change and produce fast results’… but often the ‘release of past trauma’ is done at the expense of present comfort. Many people actually seek a big emotional bang to tell them that they have gotten past their issue. Many feel that the presence of heavy cathartic release is the telltale sign they are making ‘real progress’ in their inner work. Sure, catharsis does happen. But, you would want it to happen all the time!

The purpose of personal change is to lessen the stress and upset in your life. By doing so, this allows you to free up your energy and increase your enjoyment. In ‘healing’, however, many people disturb the lives they have with their healing approach. Seeking obvious emotional outburst as your measure for growth is unhealthy and counter-productive. The aim of the game is to experience a healthy lifestyle through a comfortable transition… not a radical change. Often seeking ‘too much, too soon’ merely conjures a new problem.

Queens Tears is a flower for gently releasing overwhelming emotions in a way that does not disturb your current life. And, as you do so, you will find that your life changes direction gradually, leaving you to look back one day on the progress you have made… marvelling at the changes that have occured seamlessly, invisibily and not through mental explosion, emotional meltdown or sharp changes of direction.

The moral of the stroy? Rather than using catharthis as your marker for progress, use a calm, clear and happy life! If your life is consistently happy and enjoyable, then this is a good sign you’ve dealt with your past and put your issues to rest.

  1. You would be surprised how many people look out for trauma-as-part-of-healing. The mindset is quite entrenched… as though it takes a drama to release a drama…

  2. LOVE this post Bren!
    Great discrepancy to highlight!
    I love Queens Tears for all the reasons you highlighted! I would rather release in comfort than create more discomfort in releasing! Dx

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