The "Practical Spirituality" Newspaper

The Sharpest Thorn of All

In Conscious Living, Flower Essence Therapy on September 5, 2009 at 1:27 pm

Two questions have been on my mind recently… ‘Why don’t people heal, change or move on from their issues despite working hard on them?’ and ‘What makes an unhealthy emotional pattern resistant to change’?

Originally when I started out my life as a complementary therapist, I thought the reason why ‘a sore point remains a sore point’ was because the issue was ‘a deep one’. And because it was deep, it defied change… that is it remained an issue until you ‘peeled away the layers’ of minor imbalances until you ‘got’ to the problem in question.

Then, a little later in my practice, my model changed from the ‘deep’ perspective to a ‘multi-layered’ model. This model was the same as the first. However it took the view that the layers of issues themselves – when added up together – were the ‘deeper issue’. In other words, this mentality viewed many smaller issues made a larger whole.

These models served me for quite a long time, but eventually became obsolete as they didn’t answer all of my questions. The two questions I asked earlier ( which are perhaps the most important to answer ) of why, despite our best efforts, do some problems persist remained unanswered. So, why do some problems defy our positive intentions, efforts and interventions? Why do some problems refuse to budge?

Maybe, the problem remains a problem is not because it is deeply wounding or severe – which is the common perception. Maybe many of the ‘persistent-and-resistant’ issues in our lives aren’t rooted in the past at all… maybe their persistence is rooted in our current actions and what we are doing right now.

Often the reason why our repetitive issues are not addressed – despite their being known about – is for another reason. One beyond the scope of our focus and suffering. And this reason acts like a ‘lock nut’ that keeps our destructive issues active, alive and perfectly functional.

What stops us from shifting our issues is because we are still in the act of wounding ourselves! This wounding is two-fold. Firstly, we focus negative mental energy toward ourselves ( I.e. self criticism ). Secondly, we then ‘drive this sharp thorn into ourselves’ ( I.e. self punishment )… which is why our deeper wounds defy care.

Our issues remain raw & active because we are still punishing and hurting ourselves over them. This subtle punishment causes ‘a wounding’ and this new wound gives rise to an additional layer of ill feelings – feelings that ‘won’t go away’ ( until you stop harming yourself ). Like smoke rises from a fire that is still burning, these secondary feelings are the ‘ongoing malaise’ which defies our efforts to change, heal or ‘fix’.

Self punishment is the reason why people don’t ‘heal’ or get over their issues! Self punishment is why issues seem to persist. The reason why many of your ‘recurring issues’ remain in your life is because you are ‘digging a thorn into your side’… re-opening an old wound… still bleeding and not getting over it!

The issue of self punishment and ‘issues that defy change’ will be dealt with in future articles.

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  1. Isnt your friend clever? To realise that, with your help. =>

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